the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I need moral support for this bender
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
