have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
