Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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