Sry I called you an 8
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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