i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize