Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
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He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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