Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
