I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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