It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
