i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
