I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize