you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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