I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
