awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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