I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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