No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
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i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
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didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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