I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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