I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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