dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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