Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
These tits shall not be calmed
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
