you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
