i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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