zippers are such a cool invention
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
