Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize