Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
someone owes me an orgasm
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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