how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He better not be in your backpack
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
