The maid of honor just puked.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
50% drunk capacity currently
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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