The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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