Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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