Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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