i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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