i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
