new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
