It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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