That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
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So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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