My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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