I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just blew my weed a kiss
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You ate ashes out of my bong
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
