$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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