it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
