No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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