I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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