I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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