yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
