I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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