Can Purell be used as lube?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dicks are not precious.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
