Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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