theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Every concussion has its silver lining
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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