Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
