So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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