Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
