when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
