I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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