ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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