I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
