problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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