My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
