question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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