Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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