Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
