if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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