Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
