I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
