YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
